Well, who knew that my last post on the “cougar thing” would have drawn out some of the funniest comments ever- and from our male readers!? I don’t think they intended to make me laugh so hard that tears were rolling down my face, but sentences like “Corey- your [sic] an attractive middle aged woman… if someone is [sic] younger approaches you say in the produce aisle and strikes up a conversation with you, you should feel grateful,” or “maybe you should just stay home and knit and let the other hot middle aged women feel some self worth” and my personal favorite “get off your pedestal and your act together.”
Knitting got multiple mentions, as did my (still looking all over my house for it) pedestal. I admit I laughed as hard at my own responses (I’m good at cracking myself up), and I did recalibrate my views on the whole topic thanks to Samazon and others…
Really, if you need a good belly laugh, last weeks comment are the place to go. Of course- the reason it’s funny and not a nightmare is that these men are not impacting my day to day life- they are not my husband, or boss at work, or people who have any (direct) influence or control over my life. They are not setting my pay, not evaluating my work or creating the HR policies that guide my work/life integration. The women around them are not so fortunate, though. The good news is that these intending-to-insult-me commenters really helped make my point: I want women, every single one of us, to look in the mirror and inside ourselves and see what’s right, not what’s wrong. I want us to love who we are and who we become with age, from the inside-out, not because someone else has to validate it from the outside-in.
My good friend, John Robinson of Our Ability says it best, “look in the mirror and choose to like what you see, love what’s right about you and see that first. Be kind to that person reflected in the mirror, the way you would someone you love, a best friend.”
I have a complicated relationship with the mirror, and I know I am not alone. In fact, too complicated and messy to even talk about here. But, I still believe that I can choose to clean up that relationship- and that will take courage, but I’ve got that, and when I don’t, I have good friends and my sister to ENcourage me.
Here’s a start. This incredible video by The Mrs. had me in tears as complicated as my relationship with my mirror, but mostly I had tears of gratitude to the Mrs. Band for this gift to all of us. Please watch it now. Like right now, this minute.
You will be so happy you did.
May we all hear the voices of those who loves us, as if they are our own. May we feel the love for ourselves that they feel for us, as we look back at that beautiful woman we see in the mirror.
It won’t hurt to listen to The Mrs. song about 1000 times in a row either!
More on The Mrs.:
We are The Mrs., an all-female band from Austin, Texas. We recently asked women how they felt when they looked in the mirror. As you can see, we didn’t like the answer, so we decided to help change it.
“ENOUGH” looking in the mirror with such a critical eye.
“ENOUGH” of that negative voice we hear in our heads.
“ENOUGH” letting the world tell us who we should be.
The Mrs.’ debut single, “Enough,” was written to help women see ourselves with a less critical eye, and realize that we are “Enough” just the way we are. Instead of creating a traditional music video, we opted to do something unconventional: take our message directly to the women who inspire us.
Purchase “Enough” on iTunes: http://bit.ly/1n3tHsa
Check out what went on behind the scenes: http://youtu.be/Q_Yfw3raILw
Do you have a complicated relationship with the mirror? Any ideas about how to change that for you? @CoreyJamisonLLC
This blog was originally published by the Times Union and can be accessed here.